Akpos was 16 and finally got hold of his driver's license.

Akpos was 16 and finally got hold of his driver's license. In order to celebrate the special day, the whole family went out to the driveway and climbed into the car to enjoy his first official drive. However, dad went to the back seat, where he sat right behind his boy.

When I was your age, people tell me i was good for nothing

Akpos and his son Ochuko were arguing
and ochuko started to piss his father Akpos off

Ochuko: Daddy For $20, I’ll be good.
Akpos: You dey craze?  When I was your age, people tell me
i was good for nothing.

Akpos and 3 other men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies

Akpos and 3 other men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man Akpos Started crying. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

Akpos replied “I work for 7 Up

lol share if you get the joke
Happy Fathers day

Akpors stuck his head into a barber's shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

Akpors stuck his head into a barber's shop and asked, "How
long before I can get a
haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and
said,"About 2 hours." Akpors left.

A few days later the same Akpors stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3
hours."
Akpors left.

When u ask an Ibadan babe for her number u go hear

When u ask an Ibadan babe for her number u go hear: "sero hate sero, six hate six, tiri hate sefun, noi noi, das my hen ti hen nober

Akpos the stupid driver (very funny)

Akpos, who survived in a tragic accident which rendered 50 people dead at Lagos-Ibadan Express
Way was remanded in police custody to assist in police investigation.
Luckily for him, the police officer incharge is his friend Ochuko.
Here is the Interrogation:
POLICE: Mr Akpos, how did you end up killing 50 people?
AKPOS: I was driving at 150km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the other side, a wedding
was taking place. I hit the brake but it failed, so I had to make a choice, either hit the two men or run into
the wedding party....

Oga asked Akpos who drank my beer? (very funny)

OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my Beer?
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my Beer?.
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw
Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you
say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't
answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't
understand anything, except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand
beside madam and ask me a question while i stand
here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when
madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who dey
sneak enter the house girl room when madam no
dey house.
No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o,
when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear
anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I
can't understand anything at all.

My name is Ekaite, I used my friend to set up my boyfriend to see if he'll cheat on me. (very funny)

My name is Ekaite, I used my friend to set up my boyfriend to see if he'll cheat on me.
Now they have sent me a wedding invitation.....
WHAT AM I?

A. Learner
B. Idiot
C. Fool
D. Wedding Planner
E. All of the above

Akpos asked a lady for the time (very funny)

AKPOS: Hello madam?
LADY: What is it?
AKPOS: Sorry madam, just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch?
LADY: Ehee…now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time.
AKPOS: But madam...
LADY: Shut up!

Akpors has been admiring his neighbor’s wife

Akpors has been admiring his neighbor’s wife. The neighbor’s wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Akpors didn’t know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she’s married. So, one day the lady herself
approached Akpors alone in his apartment.

AKPORS: Hi.
LADY: Hi.
AKPORS: Is everything alright?
LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively).
AKPORS: Wow! Anything for the angel.
LADY: I just don’t know how to say this. I’ll be so
ashamed ƒ myself if I ask and you say no.
AKPORS: Oh my lady. you
don’t have to. I am ready to do anything for you.
LADY: You know, it’s been over 3 weeks since my husband
travelled.
AKPORS: Yes! Yes! Yes!
LADY: And even when he’s around, he has some…
(pause for a while) he has some disabilities…
AKPORS: Oh poor you. You must have been
going through hell!
LADY: I know you’ll be
stronger than him…
AKPORS: Sure.
LADY: Can you help me?
AKPORS: Wow! Now? Sure,
I’m ready if you are ready.
LADY: Oh thanks
goodness! that’s why I came
to you. Can you help me
carry our deep freezer
from our kitchen to the next
street for repairs???

Akpos, ochuko and John decided to go to China for vacation

Akpos, ochuko and John decided to go to China for vacation.
Since they were new to the place they had to stay
in a hotel. And their room was on the
60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that at
midnight the elevators were shut down. The next
day, this guys rented a car and explored the city.

Akpos brought Ekaite home for some little fun

Akpors was nearing the end of his senior year in high school, unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is about 4 years old. One night, he decided to bring his girlfriend Ekaite home for a little fun. Akpos and his little brother have bunk beds Akpos notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend Ekaite climbed up to the top bunk.

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town (very funny)

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for Akpos who sat calmly. Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

Akpos replied, "Yes i do."

Akpors decided to give his students a test. (very funny)

Akpors decided to give his students a test.

He asked them to write the answers as he read out the questions.

Instructions says: Canceling answers not allowed)

Akpors the Lecturer: Question 1: What's your favorite food? [10 mrks]

Female students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, ice cream, sharwama and all sorts of Chinese cuisine.....

Conversation between akpos and ekaite (very funny)

Ekaite: honey do you still love me like before?
Akpos: Yes love! My love for you will never change.
Ekaite: thats my honey. I want you to buy me something.
Akpos: Just name it
Ekaite: It's just one BB porsche.
Akpos: No problem. Just find out the price and let me know.
Ekaite: It's #350,000.
Akpos: Is it manual or authomatic? Is it still in a good shape, as in the engine. Have you checked the fuel consumption too?

Akpos decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him son where is your mother?

AKPOS: My wife where are you?
EKAITE: At home love.
AKPOS: Are you sure?
EKAITE Yes.
AKPOS: Turn on the blender.
EKAITE: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
AKPOS: Ok my love goodbye.

Poems written by AKPOS and EKAITE (very funny)

AKPOS: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.

He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi. He saw me

in darkness, He created light. He saw me without

problems, He created YOU.

EKAITE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I

wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I

wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart

Attack.

I found the remote

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

Akpos went to a football game (very funny)

By the time Akpos arrived, the football game had already started. “Why are you so late?” asked his friend.

“I couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin,” said Akpos.

“But that shouldn’t have taken too long.” said the friend.

“Well, I had to toss it 35 times.”

LOL Share this joke if you get it

A stressed man was in his office thinking deeply

A stressed man was in his office thinking deeply,
suddenly a man runs inside shouting 'Peter Peter your daughter Tonia just had an accident and died'.
Shocked and confused, he jumps out of his office window! As soon as he does;
oh! He remembers his office is on the 7th floor.
As he is descending lower,he remembers he does not have a daughter called Tonia.
Still descending, he remembers he is not even married,
just 2 floors before he hits the ground, he remembers his name is not even Peter......

lolz...Don't be too carried away by ur thoughts.